Home Bound

I'm going home. To Brooklyn.

Reconnections with Past Transients

Thats something I used to do .

Okay, so, I'm really foreign to the concept of a blog because I never even had a diary in the first place . But here we go .

Recently I reconnected with someone whose time in my life was really short and inconsistent but it felt good to do so. In my opinion, life is partly a culmination of our decisions and our experiences. That includes those apart of the experiences. Who I am ,in a sense, is who everyone was that shared a piece of themselves with me. If that makes sense.

Now, for some recent news:

You are no longer a friend . You are a stranger . You are no longer the foundation . You are the ruins . You are no longer a diary . You are lost pages . You are no longer an inspiration . You are a bad influence. You are no longer important. You are persona non grata . You are no longer apart of me . You are essentially a nobody .

Inner soul for the masses .

Poetry for the Masses

I was struck by the antiquated legacy of a hallucinogen fancy
Senses sucked into delusions so my mind could base jump to conclusions
Forget it, I rather sit sober through this barren b*tch because I refuse to fall more hallucinogenic ricks
My four chambers grow restless plucking the strings of the one-trick-pony one-trick guitar
Chords played in L-O-V-E minor radiate short sound waves that don't get too far
I need mine to stretch the miles I wore my soles out for just so I could sell my soul out for more
Corners of auction blocks and open food markets
Aimlessly inhale and exhale lost spirits
They mutually agree to let the light shine on only those who don't fear it
Trampled walls by remorseless feet
And I am officially walked on
Tirelessly trying to form my own "Once upon..."
A time where shattered morals and regretful lovers leave what ever they may have felt under covers
In between sheets and in between weeks where I thought I knew you
Well, thoughts born from unstable chemical bonds
Referring to the chemistry that we built our foundation upon
It started from that contact "Hi, how are you?" you waved across the space we always had shared
Followed by moments of ignorant ignorance because we had to pretend we didn't care
Rams of ideas butting over territories quickly annulled by "But baby, I'm sorry"
Dilated pupils formed the aforementioned delusions
And I bungee jumped off of rickety-rackety conclusions
Human Heart Error, broken bungee strands
Displaced the blame like water
Should've never used your worn down rubber bands
Weekly gatherings commencing with
"Hi, my name is Janine and I'm addicted to him"
Simulated images he cultivated with stimulants and barbiturates
No mixtures of earthly chemicals or earthly plants
But mixtures of words, actions and untimely rants ending with that untimely "I can't"
Shakes and trembles conformed into longing for another like you
Pining for anothers left me without righteous lovers
Angels who carried their halos in their pockets
Begged for the key to my heart and soul but I never let them near enough to unlock it
Needless to say, my "Once upon..."
Was never again thought upon
Thoughts of happily ever after were now happily ever over
Assemblies of forlorn brethren have abandoned me because I abandoned my disease
Can't remember how long our self-proclaimed eternity lasted
Don't know if you got over the proverbial hump like I did
No delusion, no hallucinogen, no mind tricks derived from love mimics
My heart strings reverberated in tune
And released a melody that finally sings:
"I am over you"

People will always hand you a box.

You decide whether or not you will live in it or crease the corners that create it.

I've always chosen to personally bust my limbs out of the sides, get up and live life