People wish they could step out of the bounds of space and time; wish they could defy physics; wish they could spit in anatomy's face; they wish they could ignore all of the laws nature has already written. We wish we could go back in time or disappear from where ever we are; we wish we could move mountains and swim oceans; we wish we could fly at the moments are feet are rooted firmly into the ground.
All we could do is wish, and not believe. I know I could never go back in time, move mountains or grow wings, but I know that one day, I will let time go back in me, I won't move mountains, but I will break down walls. One day I will fly and soar.
That's something I believe in.
Sometimes, that's all you really have to do. Believe.
This friend once told me that s/he were scared that the people s/he holds close to her/him as friends will some day walk out of her/his life. It isn't until right now, me sitting here, after finding something that made my heart absolutely drop to my stomach, that they don't walk out of their life. She/He pushes them away. Perhaps she/he doesn't realize it, but they do. So now, the convenient friend of mine is no longer seen as a friend. This beautiful stranger once asked me, "Why would you care about someone that doesn't care anything about you?" I told this stranger that it's because it's who am I and it's in my nature.
What I really wanted to tell her/him at that time was "Because You need me to."
And now I'm done wasting my time. So now that I have all this extra time on my hands, I'll use it towards something productive like making dope quotes. Like these:
And to believe, you once gave me hope in humanity, but instead, humanity has given me hope in you.
I knew a kid once, he lived through 19 years worth of sunrises and sunsets. He once told me, "If people open their minds before they open their mouths, this world would know many great things."
I met a man once, he was ragged with age and time. He told me, "My life is not measured in years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes or seconds; but in how many lives I changed, how many hearts I've touched and how many minds I've opened."
I am cracked and jagged Like the sidewalk you walk upon But I am still completely functional And more interesting than the newly laid cement.
This man means so much to me. I wish I could have met him, laughed with him, spoke with him and even cried with him, if he did cry that is. His book changed my life and if I could, I would just shake his hand and let that be all.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Music inspires me. It's everywhere I am and everywhere I want to be. Meet Aesop Rock. He is one of the most inspiring musical artist to me.
This video is a tad bit eye-candy-er :
His lyrics are hard to decipher for some, but the beauty in it is that he writes these songs for himself but leaves the meaning up to the listening. It's completely subjective and it makes it beautiful.
In other news, I am officially in the Bone Marrow Registry. It made me wonder why people are so hesitiant to do things like that. They attach the stigma of a needle going into their hip while they are wide awake. Not the case. Only half of that happens 20% of the time. If people took the time out of their all too busy day, they could get educated on things like this and discover that it's not nearly as bad as they think.
...Bonus round This is the hot tin roof stepper Hold it down with centipede foundation Mr. Greed who burns rugged obstruction in bunches like little Jackie paper puffs the magic dragon and dutches We don't need another hero hommie gallop off on your my little one trick pony Holly Hobbie Polly Pocket pretty future destiny If the slipper fits fire up Cinderella propeller and curtsy for the munchkins right before Aesop Rock smashed the pumpkin Yeah, yeah, iron on gusto rustolium bloodstream what's better? When the wrist slit it leaks out only the bloodiest bubble letters Complete with outlines, fill-ins, dates, shading and shout out columns for vagrant colonies to follow in redeeming bottles You're a little tea pot trying to eavesdrop on the mammoth route peekin' out from around the rose bush like (Uh-huh) "Here is my handle (Ohh), here is my spout" (Ahh) Godzilla junkie used to be in love, now out for gigapussy Sorry to offend but sometimes life bends in the middle (Sorry!) So now you have a fulcrum where there used to be a pillar (Right) and now I got a pulse that bumps less than a cocaine binger and now I got no nine to five and still labor days flicker (This kid is ill)and now I got a nine millimeter Q-tip with an itchy trigger finger See, I really don't feel your persona distortion ordered by martyrs who martyr self for martyr's sake Wow fame, if notoriety grew adjacent a jealous dick-riding sentiments I'd give you a pound like, "Greetings Mr. President" Now, go do your homework -Aesop Rock
On Monday, I found my self conflicted , confused and unsettled with my position . So I cried . I turned to my best friend and he was too busy writing a paper when I needed him so I called another friend that I didn't think to call in the first place . I told her my deal and she replied with this :
"You can't be in a tunnel and see the light at the end of it and decided to walk towards it; then halfway there, you just sit in the dark. Thats what you're doing right now; sitting in the dark crying"
As shaky of a metaphor as it may seem , it really helped me out and it really cured me of my complacency. So now that everything is in perspective, life is beautiful. And she's a beautiful person for sharing that with me.
And food for thought: Isn't it interesting that guys aren't really interested in what's underneath your crown but they definitely want to get in between it ? Hmm
Monday, November 9, 2009
This is exactly what I look like when I'm having fun . And you know what , I love it . Plus, I'm doing a jig !
I have a Nikon SLR camera . I have exactly one roll of film . I have the creativity to use it . But not the drive .
I will one day be reinvented. Reformed. Today is not my day because I'm so comfortable. I feel as I shouldn't be . I shouldnt be comfortable with being average, especially when I know I could go beyond it. But I will be reinvented. Maybe next Monday, next month or next year. Its going to happen because I'll make it happen.
I have endless amount of paper, and endless amount of ink. I have to thoughts to marry them. But not the organization to plan the wedding. Isn't that some shit?
I have friends in love with thoughts. And thoughts in love with friends. I don't get why.
I'm sitting in this computer cluster next to someone racking their brain over organic chemistry and across from someone filling out math problems online. Ever wonder what someone elses life is like ? Ever wanted to hear their story ? I have.
Meanwhile , here's a quote to keep you busy : "If you're looking for a sign, just do it"
I found that written on the stall in the bathroom I was using . I found it surprising that such an inspiring quote came from immature scribble on the inside of a stall. I also found this one as a response to someone writing "YOU'RE IN COLLEGE NOW. GROW UP"
"Do we ever really grow up ? Why must we lose our inner childhood selves as we age?"
That question sparked something in me 'cause I'm always down for revisiting my childhood by watching old cartoons or playing in parks on the rickety swings. What I don't understand is why does that have to go away. Yea, I know, we have to mature at some point because we can't survive in society without maturity, but must we sacrifice our inner child --a state where simple things make you happy and you could retreat into mindset where there is nothing to worry about --for our maturity to exist. Why can't they simple coexist. I much rather have that. I think a lot of people would be happier that way.
Also, did you know, the first documented advanced civilzation was formed out of peace and trade, and not warfare. This city is called Caral and is found in the deserts of Peru. Not only did it provide an alternate theory as to why people then "crossed the great divide" from simple village to big cities, it provided an alternate theory to human nature itself. Maybe Hobbes was wrong. Our state of nature is not "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short." I know for a fact Hobbes is wrong. The civilization of Caral proves to me that it is not in our nature to go to war and fight one another. That we are, in fact, peaceful creatures and lived as such for over a millenium.
